Fifty things I've learned at 50
From a deepening relationship to self, to the shape shifting space of grief, from babies to bikinis to sitting with pleasure, here are fifty things I live or do or think which I hope you will enjoy
I’m 50 this week, a fact that feels both completely insignificant, and also somehow incredibly important. And I guess to me alone, it’s both of those things. I keep walking around saying “fifty” to myself to see how it feels; it feels good, and normal, and huge, and nothing, all at the same time. I want to be able to hold the number in my hand somehow, to feel it’s weight and it’s shape. If I could, I think it would feel like a flint pebble which had been smashed open: chipped and sharp on the edge but with smooth and creamy dark and light lines running through it. I’m actually in Texas this week, and I got up early to write this for you while the kids are sleeping. (I guess that’s one of the things about this point in life, right, that sleeping early in the morning becomes a rare experience?) I’ve really enjoyed putting this together for you; will you share your ideas with me in the comments? I really love reading your responses to the things I’m thinking about, and learn so much for them - so share some ideas about stuff you are doing, thinking and being, whatever age you are.
Your life will change and change again in ways you could never have expected, and that is unfathomable and often terrifying when it happens, but remember that this is exactly as it should be because before anything you are a human being, so change and being is at the core of your existence.
The most important relationship you will have in your life is with yourself; do not resist this idea as self-indulgence, since it’s in knowing yourself - truly, the light and the dark - that you will create stronger, more powerful relationships with the world around you, and especially with other people.
To love and be loved is the greatest privilege in life; when that opportunity comes, do not waste it or miss it by worrying that there’s something more somewhere else you should pursue, but embrace it, and actively live it by enacting your love; give yourself to it completely.
If you have misgivings about a fringe, don’t get one cut.